An unfortunate consequence of divorce is the impact that it has on the children of the separated family. Because they love both parents, it is difficult for these children to understand the changes that have occurred within their family, especially after a custody battle (which we recommend to be as civil and collaborative as possible). As a result, they can become confused by the conflicts between their parents, and they can misinterpret the departure of one parent by feeling abandoned or somehow responsible for what has happened. Both parents must remain diligent in demonstrating love and concern for the happiness of the children. Success in this aspect of your life will lead to success in other endeavors in the future.
Paying Child Support Demonstrates Love
When parents divorce or separate, the “non-custodial” parent (the parent with whom the children do not live) is required to pay a percentage of his or her income to the custodial parent as child support. While no one can buy love, if you succeed in paying your child support as a divorced parent who has parted from the family, you demonstrate that you are still concerned about the welfare of your children and you are genuinely interested in their comfort and happiness. Since love always begins with concern for the well-being of the beloved, children will recognize your financial provision for them as being done because you love and care for them as a parent.
Paying Child Support Maintains a Good Relationship with the Former Spouse and the Children
If you consistently succeed in paying your child support, you show responsibility and love for your children. You also demonstrate accountability to the other parent by not causing court appearances to enforce payments. When the court assigns the father child support, as is the case in 80% of divorces, it is almost impossible for the mother and the children not to be deprived if the man does not fulfill this obligation since he has probably been the primary breadwinner. Such deprivation can also occur if the father has custody and the mother has been the primary source of income. A lack of money can result in the custodial parent developing feelings of resentment. Such negative emotions can affect the children’s attitudes toward the negligent parent, as well as alter general perspectives towards life since poverty is a proven risk factor for children.
Paying Child Support Increases the Involvement of the Noncustodial Parent
If you succeed in paying your child support on a regular basis, you demonstrate maturity, caring, and reliability. Studies indicate that noncustodial parents who pay child support are more likely to visit their children and remain involved in their lives, thus affecting by their example how the children develop leadership qualities.
There is little doubt that parents who act responsibly after a divorce by providing necessities can retain the sense of security and love that their children felt when they were all in the home together.
Trying to avoid a divorce? Check out this article about things that will almost certainly tank your marriage.
Custody: Keeping the Child’s Needs in Mind
Child Support 101: Child Support Basics