Bernie Sanders won the popular bird endorsement today. During the Bernie rally attended by thousands of Portland hipsters, a small bird landed on the podium. The crowd, drunk with Bernie’s promises of a better world were treated to a message of peace. The bird, symbolic of Portland’s “Put a bird on it” mantra stared down Bernie in front of thousands. It stayed momentarily as Bernie compared the small bird to a dove of peace.
The brave little bird was not available for comment.
Many would of though it a miracle if they were not practicing atheists. Most Portland attendees simply enjoyed the blissful irony.
Over 10,000 people attended the huge Bernie Sanders event. His message of socialism and government giveaways resonates with people who value the ethical treatment of their organic vegetables over material wealth. Portland, known for being weird was the perfect place for Bernie to make a stand against his difficult opponent Hillary Clinton.
Sanders has lost the battle of Super Delegates and desperately trying to sell is populist message to high school students, college attendees, and the professionally unemployed. He struggles to overcome the Democratic National Committee’s conspiracy to ensure Clinton’s nomination. Sanders has 949 delegates compared to Clinton’s 1,691. 2,382 delegates are needed to win the Democratic primary nomination for president. Bernie has a long way to go to catch up in order to win.
Meanwhile the Republican primary campaign has been fraught with scandal, mudslinging, and threats of spilling beans. Donald Trump and Ted Cruz have skillfully knocked their better qualified opponents out of the race and are insulting their way to a contested convention.
Reports of Hillary events seem to be non-existent as they do not fit her winning narrative.
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