Trump University basketball could easily dominate the NCAA Tournament
Trump University is on a roll this year. Donald Trump, not satisfied with just winning the GOP nomination may his sights set on dominating the March Madness NCAA brackets. If Trump University fielded a team this year it might just be the most exciting thing to watch since Trump announced he was running for president.
March Madness, it’s that wonderful time of year when college sports fans are treated to a feast of exciting games, Cinderella stories, major upsets and the like. Office productivity plummets as employees all across the country pay more attention to their brackets than they do their actual job duties.
If you think it’s madness now, could you imagine how completely insane it would be if Trump University—Donald Trump’s defunct online “education” scam that is the now the target of multiple lawsuits—were among the field of 68 teams vying for a coveted spot in the Final Four? His team would be YUGE!
What would Trump University’s team look like? Here are a few ideas:
- Dennis Rodman would be the head coach.
- There would be no scholarship players on the team. Instead, you’d have professional basketball players recruited from Europe, enrolled in Trump University’s elite student program majoring in real estate deals.
- The worst player would be sent to Trump’s office and told they were FIRED with his trademark cobra move.
- Players who missed their free throws would be taken behind the team bench and waterboarded as motivation to do better.
- If any fans dared cheer for the opposing team, Donald Trump would signal his goons to have the offenders removed from the arena.
- His European cheerleaders would come from Trump’s modeling agency all here on H1-b visas
- He would make NCAA Basketball great again
- Players would drink “Trump Water” exclusively
With Trump University basketball, the other college teams would struggle to get any attention on or off the court as reporters would drool over every word Trump woulds say about his team.
Related: Apple announced new smaller Trump iPhone